Kindness

So we know that kindness makes us happy and happiness makes us kind.  There is actually a chemical reaction in our brain when we are kind. Feel good hormones seratonin, oxytocin and endorphins are released in the brain when we are kind.  It has a positive effect on the recipient and witnesses to the act of kindness. It is also contagious.  This is incredible news and holds great potential for positive social change.  

This month a school in Cork, Ireland replaced homework with performing random acts of kindness for the entire month.  What an incredible initiative.  Doing this with intention for one month will undoubtedly have a great impact on the students and the many recipients of their kindness. As we become what we think, feel and do this "kindness drive" will produce a happy, pro social and uplifted community.  As the children experience the personal and social benefits they will undoubtedly wish to continue to ride the kindness wave more often.  

Kindness shifts the heart and mind and positively impacts our wellbeing and that of others.  They say the best things in life are free and kindness certainly ticks that box.  

So, let's give our wellbeing a boost and focus on kindness.

Mindful Talking & Listening

Be mindful, this is a very well used statement now and I have seen it used on the news stations and other media platforms however I feel that the presenters do not really know what it means to be mindful.

Let me explain, to be mindful, means to be aware. To be aware of how you are talking, what you are talking about, the impact it will have on others and on you, not only that but also taking into consideration kindness, compassion, empathy and love. This is a very big challenge in these times of judgement, both self-judgement and judgement of others. We are surrounded by negativity in all areas of our life and especially from the social media and news platforms.

 I was reading an article only the other day on a social media platform and one of the comments said “Is there any good news stories at all” and this so true. Wherever we look we are surrounded with bad news. So is that being mindful!!!!! I think not. The negative impact of these stories is extremely harmful to us mentally without our awareness. We need the knowledge we need about our brains, how the brain works and how we can process the negativity in a more beneficial manner for ourselves. (this area is worth a different blog).

So how can we be mindful when talking and listening? Here are just a few tips.

1.      Be aware that we all talk to ourselves in our head and often we are not paying attention to this inner self talk.  Become aware of it. Be aware of what you are saying to yourself. Be kind to yourself when you are doing this.

2.      Then when we are talking to others, is what you are saying helpful, supportive or dismissive? Again be aware of what you are saying and what is it you want to say. How you can say it with more understanding and compassion?

3.      Slow down, and be present in the conversation

4.      Be accepting and non-judgemental

5.      When you are listening, really listen, our minds have a habit of preparing our replies before the person we are talking to is even finished what they are saying therefore we do not really hear what they are saying.

6.      Let the person talk, and when your mind distracts to what you are going to say or making a judgement or distracts you acknowledge that and bring you attention back to the conversation.  You may even tell the person that you missed what they said and could they repeat it for you to process.

7.      You can also say to the person something like, What I heard you say was ….. or I’m hearing that you mean ….. and so on just to confirm what they have being saying to you.

8.      Practice mindful listening and talking and be kind to yourself when you get distracted it happens to us all J

You may say, what about when I get angry or frustrated ? Which we all do at times, again this is a human response to different situations and they happen instantly.  Again it’s to do with our brain and habitual responses.

We can manage these instant responses by being more aware of when and how we have them. This is being mindful of you, understanding yourself more and more.

Why not give it a try and remember this is not a quick fix or magic bullet this all takes practice, practice, practice. You may surprise yourself of the benefits you get by being more mindful J

Please do check us out on Facebook “Mindfulness Schools Ireland” or on our website www.mindfulnessschoolsireland.com 

We also have our new YouTube channel  >>>>> (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCATR1pk6KfSXzvRj6T854Gg)

Where we continually upload more videos with tips and tools and practices to try out for yourself do check it out.

Mindful Listening

No matter how hard I try to remember someones name when introduced I forget it within moments. It's so frustrating. I am listening. I am focusing and trying to remember but I think I'm so focused on what they are saying after name dropping that their name flies out the window, gone.  I try to associate the name to someone or something I know but that's not foolproof either.  Maybe it's just age and we should all wear name badges.  People would probably be friendlier and there would be more connection if our faces had names!

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Or remember the time (I can say that because I know I'm probably not alone here) you sat in a meeting or lecture and there seems to be a few minute gap where you have no clue what was said? We have limitations as humans and our attention span certainly is one of those. In fact it's getting worse.  Everything now is immediate and fast paced. No time to ponder, dwell or reflect.  I don't see this as progress exactly.

 However we can train our brains to improve this skill.  Our brains are not "fixed" like once thought.  Neuroplasticity enables us to grow our brains in whichever direction we choose and make certain neural pathways stronger.  There is hope for us all!

There is so much misunderstanding and conflict due to mindless listening.  We hear what we want to hear. We automatically put our own spin on conversations based on our experiences and perceptions.

That's the thing "automatic behaviour." The practice of mindfulness highlights this automatic learned behaviour enabling us to change our ways.  

Imagine a world of mindful listeners. It would be a more peaceful and harmonious world for sure. So where should this mindful listening revolution begin? With me and with you.

Sue

Mindful use of Time 

There are 1,440 minutes in each day. On average we spend between 360 – 480 minutes of that time sleeping or perhaps, should I say that we would benefit from getting that amount of sleep each night. That leaves approximately let’s say about 1,000 minutes for the rest of what we need to do for our life’s requirements.

There can be a sense or thought of “I never have time” or “There’s not enough time in the day” you know the feeling. I’m sure you have been here with me at times and then what about the “Where did the time go” or “ I can’t believe it’s been a year already.”

“Time’s flying” yes you can resonate with me, can’t you !!.  Have you ever thought of it like this, every day you have the same amount of time, you cannot add in more time, you can’t take away any time and a sure fact - you can’t carry it over to the next day as it’s already gone, yet how much of that time do you just aimlessly waste away on non-beneficial things like social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat or whatever the new social media trend is), overthinking, staying in bed late, gossiping, frustrated, angry and so on.

Now before you go “Here we go another Tech free warrior spouting on!” I am by no means saying that technology and social media are not beneficial, sure this is probably where you are reading this blog from right now on some platform. What I am saying is, it does have a place most definitely and it is an amazing tool, however, it does have its drawbacks. It can have a sort of habitual pull for us where it becomes the first thing we turn to instead of just doing nothing. 

Doing nothing you say? Well, that’s not productive or beneficial you may say, doing nothing is a waste of time or boring!

And then you have all the other things you have to do, you work or have children to organise, feed, etc or housework and all those day to day things that need your attention too.  Sure it’s no wonder you have no time!

My point is this, if time was money and you had to spend it all each day because you couldn’t carry it over, I’m sure you’d find a way to spend it wisely so why not also use some of your time wisely for your own benefit. 

You see the other thing is that our minds are overactive all day with the many thoughts, deliberations and dilemmas that the mind it comes up with.

If we use our understanding of mindfulness and meditation and various different techniques we can actually reduce these and become more productive and the use of our time could be more beneficial and useful. Less overthinking, less stress, less anxiousness, which are all of benefit to ourselves.

How do we do it ?

It all begins with awareness and attention and you will be sick of hearing this over and over again. That is what being mindful is, “Being Aware” simple yet hard at first, but with practice, it gets easier.

Wherever your attention is will determine how you act or feel or both.

Tips

 Plan (Plan your day/week allowing time for you, including quiet time, meditation or chill out time)

      Begin with your attention. (What are you focusing on?)

    List your priorities (What needs to be done today or now. Where do I need to focus my attention first? What do I need to say no to?)

     Take one task at a time and complete it fully, 100% and then move onto the next task

      Stop Multitasking. It is not beneficial or productive.

Check us out on facebook “Mindfulness Schools Ireland” or on our website www.mindfulnessschoolsireland.com

Some links below you may find interesting

https://www.verywellmind.com/multitasking-2795003

https://www.apa.org/research/action/multitask

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053810013000792

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100319210631.htm

Saying No to unhelpful habits

New Year's Resolutions are great. They give us hope, make us feel alive, energised and happy.  Do we generally feel like this by March?

As creatures of habit, we easily fall into living on autopilot and enthusiasm for our best-laid plans wanes.

So where does it all go wrong? 

Creating healthy habits or new goals need to be realistic and achievable.

Making ourselves accountable to others make goals/habits easier to achieve.

Write down your goal/new healthy habits on paper. Now it becomes more than just an idea.

Create an action plan on how to execute your goal/habit.

Evaluate progress often and celebrate small successes

Mindfulness shines a light of awareness on every aspect of our lives enabling us to be more present in all that we do.  This means we are less likely to fall into autopilot and are more inclined to stay on track with our goals, healthy habits and plans. 

When fully present or mindful we tend to be more focused and gain greater clarity.  These aid us in remaining on track in our pursuit of health and happiness.

What unhelpful habits would you like to challenge to boost your wellbeing?

It can be hard to be grateful

So, science says being grateful has mental health and wellbeing benefits!! Hhmm, but what about if you can’t be grateful, what if you are so down that you just can’t feel grateful for anything?

We are told that

●        Gratitude opens the door to healthier relationships.

●        Gratitude improves physical health.

●        Gratitude improves psychological health.

●        Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression.

●        Grateful people sleep better.

●        Gratitude improves self-esteem.

●        Gratitude increases mental strength.

And much more too.

So how can we get to a place that allows us to feel grateful? Well, there are a few things we need to understand first.

·         The mind has a lot to do with how you feel

·         Thoughts constantly intrude and affect our mentality

·         Life is not all sunshine and rose even for those who can feel gratitude

·         You don’t have to have the perfect life to feel grateful

·         Money won’t buy you gratitude

·         We live in a world where we are surrounded by negativity

·         We are habitual beings

·         Our self-talk influences how we think and this effects how we feel

·         It takes work

·         You can change how you feel

As you can see, there is a quiet lot to understand with much more that we haven’t mentioned just yet.  As this is a short article, we won’t get too deep into any one of them, but I’m sure we will cover them in depth in future articles.

The first step is understanding how your mind works. Beginning with the fight/flight response. This is where a part of our brain takes over in times of threat. It controls our instant reaction to different situations, like conflict and safety. However, unfortunately when we instantly react, we do so with little or no awareness, hence the instant reaction. Based on our reactions, we then think and feel certain ways, usually negative.

So, what can we do?

 Well, an easy way to begin is to develop awareness, self-awareness. One of the most effective ways to do this is to understand and use mindfulness.  Mindfulness and mindful techniques usually will begin with breathing.  The reason it begins there is because breathing is something we all do all the time and it is a process that we can actually take control of. Like taking deep breaths, extending and expanding of belly/diaphragm to take real deep breaths. Then continuing to breathe more deeply than we usually do, filling up our lungs and oxygenating or body fully, which helps with natural bodily functions like blood flow etc.

Whilst you are breathing you then bring your focus/awareness to the actual function of breathing and how the air moves in and out of your body and so on. Once you begin to focus on the breath you will probably find that your mind begins to quieten down somewhat. It’s not that you don’t have thoughts, but you have less focus on the thoughts and this allows a sort of calmness to begin for you. 

It is with a calmer mind and less focus on thoughts that you can inquire to what am I grateful for right now, in that moment. You see when we can calm down our mind, when we can focus less on the intrusive thoughts it is then that we become fully aware and can process things more clearly, with more clarity. 

The business of our minds distracts us form this and engulfs us with all the trials and tribulations we face with no calmness, no clarity, no focus and hence the challenge we then face to have to try to even find something that makes us feel ok never mind grateful. 

Why not try it out for yourself and remember, don’t give up after the first try. Expand your mind and the understanding of your mind. The how’s and why’s of our minds. What they do. How we are affected by our thoughts and our mind and how it’s possible to overcome it and gain control. 

Thus, enabling you to move forward to a more beneficial way of living. 

You just never know perhaps you too may discover

the benefits of it ☺

James

Resources:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier

https://www.happierhuman.com/the-science-of-gratitude/

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_gratitude_good_for_your_health

Imprisoned in my own body

Sheer panic. Utter terror. Heart thumping so hard I felt like I was having a heart attack. I felt like everyone could see it pounding, bouncing off the walls it felt so loud and hard.

My body trembles, my vision becomes blurred. I can't see nor think straight. Everyone knows. I blush from head to toe out of shame of being so weak. Why can't I stop it? I try but this makes it worse. I want to jump into a big hole and stay there forever. It passes and circumstances move on, but I don't. 

People witnessed my panic attack so now I need to avoid them as they now know what I am really like.  I fear putting myself in any situations that cause this reaction so I avoid people and situations.  I become depressed and isolated in my own existence. This now becomes an automatic behaviour even in situations with no perceived threat.  It feels like having chains around your legs, an unbearably heavy weight to carry on your shoulders. You never know when or where it may happen again so I need to be aware and on guard, all the time. 

This is an example of what I experienced often but didn't know how to help myself. My body and brain were screaming out for help. If only I had techniques to help. The effects of this type of chronic anxiety are so damaging and debilitating to every part of one's life. At breaking point some 12 year ago I reached out to my doctor for help.  That day marked the first day of the rest of my life. I was given a get out of jail free card and it has changed my life forever. 

Learning that this wasn't actually me changed everything. I took medication and learned about how my brain worked and mindfulness. This combination has enabled me to be who I really am with confidence and to live my life fully without fear. Medication stabilises any chemical imbalance and mindfulness empowers me to be more in control of my mind and body and my life.  I do wish I had the skills I have now when I was younger. 

If I had a broken arm Id go to a doctor, right? So If I'm not feeling right in myself I should also seek  assistance and support. You owe it to yourself to live the happiest and best life you can.  We all need help sometimes and  it is the strong one who reaches out to ask. Anxiety can be hereditary and/or caused by life's events and being surrounded by toxic influences.  It's imperative to your health, well being and happiness to become aware of the triggers and symptoms. In doing so you can use different modalities and practices to support your. You're not alone, you don't have to fight it anymore. 

Today more than ever we need to equip ourselves with a toolbox of coping skills to manage life's challenges in a more helpful way. By doing so we support ourselves in living a happier and more

fulfilling personal and professional life.

There are so many ways to manage panic and anxiety, seek out what suits you best and reclaim your Inner Happy today.

visit www.inner-happy.com where I offer a self study video course called Breaking the chains of Anxiety.

I will also be hosting a workshop 'Manage Anxiety with Mindfulness on 27th August. visit eventbrite to book.

Sue

Body Awareness & Body Scan

Awareness. I remember when I first heard about awareness during an introduction to mindfulness which came up on my college course over 7 yrs ago. I was thinking "Awareness", what are they talking about? Sure we are aware when we are awake and conscious. “I can see the sky, the sun, the room and the people”, I thought to myself. But was I actually paying attention? Really paying attention?

Then the teacher asked us "What did the sign say on the door outside the room as we came in"? No one knew. Was it that we weren’t paying attention or even aware that there was a sign on the door outside? Then she asked us to think about the person next to us (without looking at them) “How do they look to you, happy, sad, peaceful, loved”?

She then asked right now how do we feel in our bodies. Is there any discomfort or tension? Do we feel hot or cold? It was then I realized that I had some tension in my shoulders which I was not aware of until I was asked about it. 

Hhmm, funny isn’t it how we perceive to be aware of something, when in fact we are actually not fully aware of it until we actually focus on it, in that moment of asking. This brings me to the mind, the mind is a fascinating organ and plays such a huge part in our daily lives without us realizing it. However it does have some drawbacks, one of the biggest is that the brain/mind cannot focus on more than 1 thing 100% at the same time as focusing on something else. It’s not possible. It means we are splitting our 100% focus on 2 or more things thus reducing the attention and the focus.

So, coming back to awareness, if we focus 100% on how our body feels right now and nothing else we can become aware of any tensions, aches or pains, temperature and so on. This is how our body gives us signals so we can take action if needed to sort out whatever it is necessary or to just be aware in that moment. 

The easiest way to do this is to practice the mindful body scan. Take some time to just sit or lie down. Bring your attention to your body one area at a time and just notice what’s going on. Think of it as a time for some self-care, self-love, give yourself some me time to do nothing and just focus on you for a moment. When is the last time you have done that? You are worth it, you are worth giving a few moments to just tune in to you and your body. It is a time where you can release any tension, stress, and anxiety. It is through practice that you will experience the benefits.

Try it see for yourself. What have you got to lose? 

James P White (Mindfulness Schools Ireland)

http://www.mindfulnessschoolsireland.com/

Mental Health Week

We all know what we ought to do to stay well and healthy both mentally and physically,  however somehow the busyness of life can easily take over and all of our well laid out plans can vanish into a vague distant and seemingly unrealistic idealised dream.

This is where Mindfulness kicks in.  Awareness being step 1.  The key is to have a plan but being flexible with it. (Mindfulness teaches you to be  more flexible and at ease when things don't go as planned).  

Mental health organisations say that the following are required to nurture our wellbeing:

Connection - Positive relationships support and enrich our lives. Humans thrive on healthy friendships, family and community involvement. Loneliness is an epidemic and can lead to deterioration of health.

Active - Scheduling an activity you enjoy a few times a week releases feel-good hormones and maintains a healthy body.

Mindful - Being mindful and living in the moment reduces stress and anxiety. It increases resilience and brings more joy into our lives. If we are mindful of our mental/emotional/physical/social needs we can support them to avoid imbalance.

Learning - Trying/Learning something new makes us feel alive. Challenging ourselves to an achievable goal keeps the mind positively focused and gives us an opportunity to grow.

Common Humanity -  Recognising that you are not alone. Everyone encounters difficulties, challenges, loss, pain, suffering at times.  You don't have to struggle alone.  There is so much support for you.  Remember it is the strong person who asks for help.  

Giving - Acts of kindness big and small release feel-good chemicals in the recipient's brain and that of the giver...win...win! It also shifts the focus from ourselves to others easing many anxieties in the process.

For me, scheduling silent mindful moments throughout my day, being active (even a little goes a long way), putting my phone on silent after hours, being aware of screen time, having a goal to achieve, social connection, being mindful of how my mind and body feel, being aware of my limits, setting healthy boundaries and learning to say no when I need, all contribute significantly to maintaining my mental health.  Routine seems to be the key to making and maintaining small healthy habits that have a large impact on your wellbeing.

We all falter, but each day brings a new opportunity to pick ourselves up and start again.  Be compassionate and kind to yourself. We are all human and doing our best in an increasingly challenging world.  

The World Health Organisation defines mental health as a “state of well-being in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

Mindful.of sights and sounds

Mindful of sights and sounds

Wonder why you just don't feel quite right? Agitated or anxious without really knowing why?  It could simply be because your mind and body and disconnected.

Our mind wanders, it overthinks and it exaggerates. It can control us without our knowledge if we allow it.  Reconnecting mind and body into the present moment helps to feel more grounded and balanced. We can take charge of our monkey mind by redirecting our attention back to the present moment.  Breathwork anchors us in the here and now, as does becoming aware of the sights and sounds around us. 

Why would we use this quick and easy technique?

To reduce stress, rumination, worry and anxiety.  These unhelpful mental habits can lead to chronic health issues if unaddressed and left to grow. They can quickly become our automatic thinking patterns.  Your body and emotions react to what your mind is saying. Your mental states become your neural traits. Choose your thoughts wisely.

The more we practice training our brain to keep come back into the present moment, the stronger this neural pathway of mindful attention and awareness will become.   Over time it will become your helpful automatic way of thinking which will lead to a happier and healthier you. 

Becoming aware of your automatic mental habits is the first step in changing unhelpful patterns to helpful ones that nourish and boost your wellbeing.

Our Breath

Our Breath

The breath is life. It marks life's beginning and end on earth.  Without it, we wouldn't be here, yet we tend to take it for granted. It's automatic. We don't tend to think too much about breathing unless of course we climb a high mountain, have a medical condition affecting our lungs, are in a smoke-filled room and so on.  Then it suddenly becomes really important.

With awareness, we can observe how our breathing affects our mental, emotional and physical state. Equally our mental, emotional and physical state affects our breathing.

In an anxious state, our breathing becomes rapid and shallow which actually increases our state of stress. It's a vicious circle. Anxiety fuels the erratic breathing and the panicked breathing accelerates the anxiety.

However, we can help ourselves.  If we focus on our breathing and take deeper slower breaths into our tummy we can calm this unsettled state.  Thus we break the self-perpetuating stress-inducing cycle.  It is also a distraction from our unhelpful thoughts as we shift our focus and attention to our breath.

Slower deeper breaths also increase lung capacity, thus improving physical and athletic ability and performance. I learned this from running! Athletes know this, yogis know this, singers know this. I guess we also innately know this, but do we use it.

So when we hear the wise words "just breathe" or "take a deep breath" we understand the wisdom behind the words. So we've heard it, now it's time to use it.

Our Thoughts

Our Thoughts

Where do they come from and where do they go to? We can't see or touch them but they sure do exist and can delight or torment us.

So our brain assesses situations, relates them to past experiences to tell us whether something is a threat or not and how we should feel about and react to it.  However, memories are not always accurate so can we rely on this observation?

If we are aware of this and take a mindful moment to ponder such, we afford ourselves the opportunity to reframe a troublesome thought or broaden our perspective on how we view things.

This may just enable us to take a more objective and helpful approach to how and what we think, preventing the chimp from hijacking our mind yet again

Let's compare it to taking a photograph from a potentially different angle, adjusting the focus to gain more clarity of what and how we see. Maybe making it brighter and increasing the resolution to see more clearly. Avoid using the cropping tool to view the whole picture with greater accuracy.

Just a thought but worth a mention.

Mindfulness "What is is, Why try it"

Welcome to my first blog post! Really out of my comfort zone and it feels great! So to begin let's just clarify what the buzz about mindfulness is and why.

In this digitally dominated and fast-paced world we live in it's hard not to get sucked into and dragged along the conveyor belt of life. There doesn't seem to be an off switch. We are constantly accessible 24/7 and if not disciplined and aware we may never get downtime. This is especially true for self-employed and those working from home.

Mindfulness is a way of being. Living fully immersed in the present moment, accepting it without judgment and with compassion and kindness. This means keeping your mind and senses connected to what's happening right now. How often are we in a conversation and not really listening but planning what we want to say. Or we arrive at our destination and really have no conscious recollection of how we got there....ah autopilot.

From the moment we get up we are thinking of and planning what's ahead. Well, that's all fine and good unless it develops into overthinking and our monkey mind starts creating stories and exaggerating ifs, maybes and buts. This can spiral out of control and the chimp has won. Causing unnecessary stress and anxiety and putting you into an agitated and tense state of being.