Mindful Talking & Listening

Be mindful, this is a very well used statement now and I have seen it used on the news stations and other media platforms however I feel that the presenters do not really know what it means to be mindful.

Let me explain, to be mindful, means to be aware. To be aware of how you are talking, what you are talking about, the impact it will have on others and on you, not only that but also taking into consideration kindness, compassion, empathy and love. This is a very big challenge in these times of judgement, both self-judgement and judgement of others. We are surrounded by negativity in all areas of our life and especially from the social media and news platforms.

 I was reading an article only the other day on a social media platform and one of the comments said “Is there any good news stories at all” and this so true. Wherever we look we are surrounded with bad news. So is that being mindful!!!!! I think not. The negative impact of these stories is extremely harmful to us mentally without our awareness. We need the knowledge we need about our brains, how the brain works and how we can process the negativity in a more beneficial manner for ourselves. (this area is worth a different blog).

So how can we be mindful when talking and listening? Here are just a few tips.

1.      Be aware that we all talk to ourselves in our head and often we are not paying attention to this inner self talk.  Become aware of it. Be aware of what you are saying to yourself. Be kind to yourself when you are doing this.

2.      Then when we are talking to others, is what you are saying helpful, supportive or dismissive? Again be aware of what you are saying and what is it you want to say. How you can say it with more understanding and compassion?

3.      Slow down, and be present in the conversation

4.      Be accepting and non-judgemental

5.      When you are listening, really listen, our minds have a habit of preparing our replies before the person we are talking to is even finished what they are saying therefore we do not really hear what they are saying.

6.      Let the person talk, and when your mind distracts to what you are going to say or making a judgement or distracts you acknowledge that and bring you attention back to the conversation.  You may even tell the person that you missed what they said and could they repeat it for you to process.

7.      You can also say to the person something like, What I heard you say was ….. or I’m hearing that you mean ….. and so on just to confirm what they have being saying to you.

8.      Practice mindful listening and talking and be kind to yourself when you get distracted it happens to us all J

You may say, what about when I get angry or frustrated ? Which we all do at times, again this is a human response to different situations and they happen instantly.  Again it’s to do with our brain and habitual responses.

We can manage these instant responses by being more aware of when and how we have them. This is being mindful of you, understanding yourself more and more.

Why not give it a try and remember this is not a quick fix or magic bullet this all takes practice, practice, practice. You may surprise yourself of the benefits you get by being more mindful J

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