To control or be controlled, that is the question.

 

To control or be controlled, that is the question.

I used to feel like I was being controlled by an external force that really wanted me to suffer.  Upon reflection I see how imprisoned I was by my own lack of awareness.  My primitive brain was calling all the shots and saw danger everywhere. This led to chronic and severe anxiety which crippled many aspects of my life. I lived as a slave to my own paranoid and deeply fearful self.  You see I did not realise that I had a choice.

I will never forget the day I awakened to the realisation that “I was not my thoughts”.  This became the first day of the rest of my life.  It changed everything.  It led to many questions.  Who was I then?  What are these thoughts and where are they coming from? What if I could then change them? So, I did! 

What happened next is quite incredible.  I challenged these negative thoughts, I adopted a more positive mindset, even though I did not always believe it at the start.  It was like a game.  I noticed that as I changed my thoughts, my emotions would also change and as a result I could be and do things I would only have dreamt of prior.  This was powerful.

It took a while and slowly but surely the anxious force softened and became quieter.  It no longer dominated the show.  I became stronger than that pesky voice.  Now I do not seem to worry about things especially things that I cannot control. My mind is at ease.  It is such a freedom and one I wish for everyone.

Now I recognise how debilitating and unhelpful automatic patterns of thought and behaviour can develop so easily.  This way of being can be simply something we accept as “just who we are”.  I thought it was just who and how I was.  I was wrong.  Your brain can change, you can change. 

It is our habits that define what we become. Assess your daily habits and routines.  Become aware of your thought patterns and behaviours.  If there is something you are not quite happy about, change it. One step at a time. Sometimes we all fall off the wagon but just pick yourself up and put one foot in front of the other. 

Mindfulness is about being aware.  It is only when we become aware that we can make changes and adapt to a happier and healthier way of being.  Its never too late to find your Inner Happy.

 

 

Mental Health Week

We all know what we ought to do to stay well and healthy both mentally and physically,  however somehow the busyness of life can easily take over and all of our well laid out plans can vanish into a vague distant and seemingly unrealistic idealised dream.

This is where Mindfulness kicks in.  Awareness being step 1.  The key is to have a plan but being flexible with it. (Mindfulness teaches you to be  more flexible and at ease when things don't go as planned).  

Mental health organisations say that the following are required to nurture our wellbeing:

Connection - Positive relationships support and enrich our lives. Humans thrive on healthy friendships, family and community involvement. Loneliness is an epidemic and can lead to deterioration of health.

Active - Scheduling an activity you enjoy a few times a week releases feel-good hormones and maintains a healthy body.

Mindful - Being mindful and living in the moment reduces stress and anxiety. It increases resilience and brings more joy into our lives. If we are mindful of our mental/emotional/physical/social needs we can support them to avoid imbalance.

Learning - Trying/Learning something new makes us feel alive. Challenging ourselves to an achievable goal keeps the mind positively focused and gives us an opportunity to grow.

Common Humanity -  Recognising that you are not alone. Everyone encounters difficulties, challenges, loss, pain, suffering at times.  You don't have to struggle alone.  There is so much support for you.  Remember it is the strong person who asks for help.  

Giving - Acts of kindness big and small release feel-good chemicals in the recipient's brain and that of the giver...win...win! It also shifts the focus from ourselves to others easing many anxieties in the process.

For me, scheduling silent mindful moments throughout my day, being active (even a little goes a long way), putting my phone on silent after hours, being aware of screen time, having a goal to achieve, social connection, being mindful of how my mind and body feel, being aware of my limits, setting healthy boundaries and learning to say no when I need, all contribute significantly to maintaining my mental health.  Routine seems to be the key to making and maintaining small healthy habits that have a large impact on your wellbeing.

We all falter, but each day brings a new opportunity to pick ourselves up and start again.  Be compassionate and kind to yourself. We are all human and doing our best in an increasingly challenging world.  

The World Health Organisation defines mental health as a “state of well-being in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”