To control or be controlled, that is the question.

 

To control or be controlled, that is the question.

I used to feel like I was being controlled by an external force that really wanted me to suffer.  Upon reflection I see how imprisoned I was by my own lack of awareness.  My primitive brain was calling all the shots and saw danger everywhere. This led to chronic and severe anxiety which crippled many aspects of my life. I lived as a slave to my own paranoid and deeply fearful self.  You see I did not realise that I had a choice.

I will never forget the day I awakened to the realisation that “I was not my thoughts”.  This became the first day of the rest of my life.  It changed everything.  It led to many questions.  Who was I then?  What are these thoughts and where are they coming from? What if I could then change them? So, I did! 

What happened next is quite incredible.  I challenged these negative thoughts, I adopted a more positive mindset, even though I did not always believe it at the start.  It was like a game.  I noticed that as I changed my thoughts, my emotions would also change and as a result I could be and do things I would only have dreamt of prior.  This was powerful.

It took a while and slowly but surely the anxious force softened and became quieter.  It no longer dominated the show.  I became stronger than that pesky voice.  Now I do not seem to worry about things especially things that I cannot control. My mind is at ease.  It is such a freedom and one I wish for everyone.

Now I recognise how debilitating and unhelpful automatic patterns of thought and behaviour can develop so easily.  This way of being can be simply something we accept as “just who we are”.  I thought it was just who and how I was.  I was wrong.  Your brain can change, you can change. 

It is our habits that define what we become. Assess your daily habits and routines.  Become aware of your thought patterns and behaviours.  If there is something you are not quite happy about, change it. One step at a time. Sometimes we all fall off the wagon but just pick yourself up and put one foot in front of the other. 

Mindfulness is about being aware.  It is only when we become aware that we can make changes and adapt to a happier and healthier way of being.  Its never too late to find your Inner Happy.